"A man's best friend: A man's best friend is becoming a man's best man at his wedding. PetLondon is a store in London, England, that outfits pooches for weddings. Owner Melody Lewis can dress a dog in a tuxedo or a lovely silk and lace bridesmaid dress. In 2005, the company sold 700 dog tuxedos. In six months in 2006, she sold 300 bridesmaids dresses. Church of England priests have been given authority to include dogs in the wedding ceremonies, specifically as ring bearers. 'People consider their pets members of the family, so why not include them?' says Lewis." - from Coffee News
Joke I heard: Descartes (the philosopher known for the saying "I think, therefore I am") went with a couple of friends into a bar. The first friend orders a beer. The second orders gin and tonic. The friends ask Descartes if he would like a drink. Descartes responds, "I think not" and promptly disappears into thin air.
Please note that we aren't, nor do we claim to be, psychologists. This quiz is for fun and entertainment only. Try not to freak out about your results.
I just bought some new socks. The bag they came in was zip-lock resealable. They even labeled it as such. Why? I'm going to pull the socks out of the bag and wear them. Then the socks get washed and put in my sock drawer. The logic completely eludes me.
Fudgebuckets!! I can't find the link now.... But here anyways is another halfwit headline: "Girl cleared in parent's killing, death sought for boyfriend" - CNN
You scored 71% sanguine, 63% phlegmatic, 25% melancholy, and 43% choleric!
You are the Heart. As you probably know, the Heart is a muscular organ responsible for mantaining blood circulation.
You've been matched to this organ because you scored high on three axes: sanguine, phlegmatic, and choleric. Traditionally, the sanguine humor was associated with the Liver, the phlegmatic humor was associated with the Lung, and the choleric humor was associated with the Spleen. Personality characteristics include a tendency towards extroversion, and while you can be impulsive, you're mostly easy-going and thoughtful.
My thoughts? The Heart is certainly the most romantic organ in the body, but it's also one you can rely on. It has a steady beat that will increase when you need it, decrease when that's appropriate, and can keep beating on without input from the brain. Congrats! You're one of the most important organs in the body!
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
Your ideals mostly resemble those of an Agnostic. You are fairly ambivalent towards any religion or spiritual connection. You lead a very busy life and find that religion and spirituality are unnecessary to your life.
You are a stone key, and you unlock old and magical secrets. What you have to offer is powerful and difficult for many to understand, but invaluable to the few who can truly grasp it. Give the things you have carefully and wisely, because not everyone will use them for good.
D.O.R.C. - Coming Soon. But not today, out of respect. Had to move the blog. Will have to clean up URLs all over. But can now do more with my site with new organization.
The Orchestrator another funny email "This may be the funniest thing I've read in a while! Make sure you read the whole thing.
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot. The idiot ignored me.
I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front." "What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home every evening after five." "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Don, you're an asshole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1. "Hello." "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.) "Are you still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. "Stop calling me," he screamed. "Make me," I said. "Who are you?" he asked. "My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?" "Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole." Then I called Asshole #2. "Hello?" he said. "Hello, asshole," I said. He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." "You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed. I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter and a news crew.
NOW I feel much better. Anger management really works!"
- http://eathufu.com/home.asp - Well, they say you are what you eat... I guess some people take it more literally than others.
AT LAST! A FOOD FOR EXECUTIVE MANAGERS AND POLITICIANS!
Actually they say in their FAQs that Hufu™ contains no human or animal products. It seems to be Tofu made up to mimic the taste and texture of human flesh. - "However, our preliminary market research revealed the existence of a larger segment of the public that was interested in the availability of a legal and healthy human flesh substitute, as well as vegetarians and vegans. We also found that Hufu™ is a great product for cannibals who want to quit. Hufu™ is also a great cannibal convenience food -- no more Friday night hunting raids! Stay at home and enjoy the flavorful, convenient human flesh alternative."
Did you know... Cannibalism is how you spread Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (human version of mad cow disease). But appearantly not all people are concerned with their brains turning into swiss cheese. Or.... maybe they already have swiss-cheese-for-brains and have nothing to worry about.
It was opening night at the Orpheum and the Amazing Eileen was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do her stuff.
As the Amazing Eileen took to the stage, she announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as the Amazing Eileen withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from her coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."
She began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch.... "
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch...
Suddenly, and by accident, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor. It broke into a hundred pieces before the horrified hypnostist.
